Sexual Shame or Avoidance
When intimacy feels unsafe. Or you’ve learned to hide from it.
Sexual shame runs deep.
It can come from religion, family messages, cultural expectations, or past experiences that taught you your body, desires, or pleasure are “wrong.”
For others, avoidance starts as protection. It is a way to stay safe after rejection, trauma, or anxiety. Over time, even thinking about sex can bring discomfort or guilt.
You might notice:
“I want to feel close to someone, but I freeze or pull away.”
“I can’t relax during sex. I feel watched or judged.”
“I don’t know how to even want it anymore.”
Shame disconnects you from your body and your desires. Sometimes, it also affects your relationships.
Therapy helps you understand where that shame comes from. It also helps you reclaim intimacy on your own terms.
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Understanding Sexual Shame and Avoidance
Shame is not the same as guilt.
Guilt says, “I did something wrong.”
Shame says, “I am something wrong.”
When sexual shame becomes ingrained, it can block pleasure, desire, and trust. This can happen even in safe, loving relationships.
Common contributors include:
Strict or moralistic upbringings
Trauma or unwanted experiences
Negative or shaming comments about sex or the body
Religious or cultural expectations
Fear of being judged for sexual orientation or preferences
Internalized stigma around desire, kink, or identity
Past rejection or betrayal
Anxiety or depression tied to sexual self-image
Avoidance is a natural survival strategy. Over time, however, it can prevent connection and pleasure.
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How Therapy Helps
Sex therapy provides a space to explore sexuality with curiosity, compassion, and zero judgment. Together, we’ll work to:
Understand your story. Trace where shame or fear began and how it shows up now.
Build safety and trust. Learn to connect with your body at your own pace using grounding and body-awareness tools.
Challenge internalized messages. Identify and replace beliefs that no longer serve you.
Reclaim pleasure. Redefine touch, desire, and connection as acts of agency rather than risk.
Strengthen confidence and communication. Learn to express needs, limits, and curiosity in healthy ways.
There is no rush and no expectation. There is only a safe process for rediscovering what feels right for you.
Schedule a Free Consultation
Inclusive and Affirming Care
Everyone’s relationship to shame is different.
I work with individuals and couples of all genders, orientations, and relationship types, including LGBTQ+, kink, and poly communities.
Some clients seek to reconnect with pleasure after trauma or repression. Others want to deepen intimacy in long-term relationships.
The goal is not to become someone else. The goal is to feel at home in who you already are.
What to Expect
Free 15-minute consultation: Share what has been happening and what feels hard to talk about.
First session: Explore early experiences and current triggers with care and consent.
Ongoing sessions: Build awareness, strengthen body trust, and take small, safe steps toward intimacy.
Progress often starts quietly. It may show up as self-acceptance, relaxation, or moments of emotional connection.
My Approach
I combine Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with sex-therapy and mindfulness-based techniques. You will learn to notice shame responses without being consumed by them. You will also learn how to stay grounded when old fears arise.
As both a Licensed Psychologist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, and Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, I understand how body image, stress, and past experiences interact to shape sexual confidence.
Together, we work toward authentic connection. This includes connection within yourself and with others.
Ready to Begin?
You are not broken. You can move from avoidance and shame toward confidence, comfort, and real connection.
Let’s begin reclaiming the parts of you that deserve to feel seen, safe, and whole.